Tuesday, August 17, 2010

是画上句点的时候吗~

你所做的一切~

就好像拿着一把利刀~往我心底深深的刻下了你的名字~

想忘了~却无法~

也许这一次的决定可以把它当解药~

也许是时候学会和学习该怎么去爱上别人了~

因为我知道~

我现在的世界绝对不容许你在一次的出现~

人们常说~

“只在意曾经拥有"

“不在意天长地久”

而我却觉得

”原来曾经拥有过“

“远比失去痛苦"

一旦我在这故事画上句点~

那就意味着~

.................................................................................................

~不知道~

~不去想~

~也不想知道结果~

就让一切被心里的大海带走~

If people would say that

"We only care to have"

"Do not care Permenance"

Then i would said that

"The original once had"

"Than it's more painful than to lose"



Tuesday, August 10, 2010

阿嫲~



阿嫲~

我世界上最爱最疼的女人~

由小到大~在家里没人疼我~

唯独阿嫲最疼我~从一出生开始~我就被父母拿了给阿嫲照顾~

阿嫲照顾了我五年~

直道到六岁那一年~爸爸突然说要接我回沙巴~

其实心里根本不想和阿嫲分开~但年纪小的我能做些什么呢~

回到真正的家~却感觉不到家的温暖~

刚回到父母身边的我真的不知要说些什么~

可以肯定的是~那时候的我,开始了解什么叫着(不公平)这三个字~

从小到大~我哥,姐,弟,被爸妈宠坏了~

他们每一次欺负我的时候,爸妈都当什么是都没看到~

为什么星期六和星期日哥和弟都可以享受玩耍的滋味~

而我却就只有坐在书桌前的份~

成绩出的时候~我只不过考不及格一科数学~却要被你们打呢~

但我考到好成绩的时候~你们答应过要送的礼物在那里~

你们没当一回事~



阿嫲呢~

但我考不及格的时候~阿嫲只是给了我一个简单的劝告~虽然简单但至少比你们好很多~

阿嫲没答应过过我些什么,却买了一大堆东西给我~



还记得,15岁那一年,沉迷在电脑上~做了件错事~

我开始偷阿嫲钱~其实阿嫲早就知道了~只是不想说出来~

阿嫲知道了,却没骂我~反而还问我够不够钱用~

一句话却让我知道我到底错的又多深~



但最近~阿嫲身子好像有点不好了~

刚刚听到阿嫲脊椎骨好像有问题了~我还以为是件小事而已~

但是上几天来找我的时候~走起路来显得好像很辛苦~

看了的我都非常心痛~眼泪都要流出来了~

都怪我不孝~很久没回去看你了~连你生病了都没在你身边~

希望老天爷别那么快带走阿嫲~

我还有很多东西要阿嫲见证的~

我要阿嫲见证我的成功~我的家庭~我的一切一切~

我恳求老天爷~只要能在我岁数上能让给我阿嫲的话~

那你至少要让她多活20年~让她在健健康康的活多20年~



如果阿嫲你走了~

那在也没人可以像你那样疼我了~

阿嫲~

你要康复啊~

你这个不孝孙还有很多东西要证明给你看~

你这孙子像要在像以前那样得到你的认可~

阿嫲~

我爱你~

Sunday, August 8, 2010

我的不坚~你的改变~






知道吗~

一直以来~我还是坚持一个信念~就算你离开了我~
我还是有权利改变你的~

但随着时间的流逝~我才知道这是我单方面的一厢情愿~

一直以来觉得只要我坚持~你就会停在和我在一起时候的你~

虽然有点吵~但总会让我觉得你像个活泼的小女孩~

没人认同你~就会扑向我的怀抱大哭一场~

那时候的你真的让我很放心~


但随着我不再你身边~



你变了~你开始重踏你以前所走的那个黑暗世界~



还记得你曾经感谢我~感谢我把你从那黑暗的世界拉了出来吗~




可现在~你可否记得曾经对我的感谢~


我想你应该忘了吧~



你突然的改变~让还没准备好的我无法释怀~



我曾经伸出那双手~顿时让我觉得是那么的微小~



我还是没办法把你定在跟我在一起那时候的你~



可以告诉我为何还要重踏那黑暗的路吗~



是什么原因让你变得那么快~




回来好吗~别让我在次寻找迷失的你~


好的坏的以前你都可以熬过~



为什么这一次不能呢~



是时候回家了~


我还会坚持在那光芒的地方等待你在那黑暗的世界~


再次对我说~“可否把我带出去”



虽然第二次伸出的手会比较沉重~


但只要你肯~



放心~


我那微小的双手会再次的伸出~


不管怎样~



不管多夜了~



你还是可以回来的~


只要你肯~我对你的坚持永远不变~


你也要坚强~


别让自己变得那么快~


我不想~


在我记忆里的那个你~

会变成我~


最熟悉的陌生人~








































Saturday, August 7, 2010

原来你也懂音乐~






原来一首歌可以表达很多东西~


以前的我只懂得一首歌好听的话~


那就是一首好歌~


但我错了~失去你之后,才发现原来我们还没分手前~


你听的歌~原来就是要告诉我很多东西~


当回想起你听叮当那一首“我爱他”才发觉原来你已开始对我很绝望~


在回想起你你之前所听的歌~原来你是在用音乐向我表达出你的心声~


我还愚蠢的骂你从来都不和我说你的心思~但~~~我错了~原来一直以来最不了解对方的人是我~我不够细心~我冲动~根本没想过要从不同的角度了解你~


请原谅我的忽略~如果有机会在次拥有你~在次有机会走进你的世界~


我会好不犹豫的把你像洋葱那样~一层一层的剥开你~了解你~


看到现在的你其实还蛮让我心疼得~每一次的不开心我都看得出~


不是我不想安慰你~是我不懂得怎么去安慰你~


你一定要坚强~应该更懂得保护自己~


真的没想过有分开的这一天~


但还是发生了~现在满脑想的就是有没有机会再次拥有你~


是你让我想要更了解音乐~


如果你曾经用音乐来表达你的心声~



那你也来听听我我心中的音乐~


我想把萧敬藤的“原谅我”


张雨生的“大海”


陈伟联的“I Love You”


周杰伦的“回到过去”

邓丽君的“我只在乎你”
唱给你听~

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

From Love to Stranger~




Still remeber this pic~the most beautiful snapshot in my life~I bet you did, the pic that we been scold by your bro and Mom when you post it on friendster~and i still remember the words you said to me last time~"The only things that hold us together till the end is Death"I was so touched when i heard the word coming out from you mouth~Then i said to myself,that you are the girl who i've been finding for~And i decided to give all that i have to you~When first time saw you,you kind a annoying to me~because you use that kind of very "LC"eye contact look at me~but when i started to know you~i realized that you got alot of things that other girls dun have~it was so weird~If i cant turn back time~i wish that you are always mind~













You know what you are once for me~For me you are once the most beautiful angel in my life that always by my side no matter what happen~You light up my life with your beautiful colour and you change my life a lot~I used to be a very useless person~I dont dare to ask anything from other people even a small things that you asked me to take for you last time~i remember the first time when we eat at "Tian Xing Yuan" you ask me to go and ask "chillie" from the people~it was so funny that time,that is because i dun even dare to ask a "chillie" from them~it show how useless i am~I dun even dare to ask something from my family even it's very urgent to me~But then you change my life~you scolded me everytime when i was like that,Day by day i become more stronger~i even dare to quarell with my father bocs of you~I still remember that my family was very angry with me because i spend alot of time with you more then them~Just because of this i quarell with my dearest Grandmother and my Dad~i remember what i said that time~I said to them that"You all dun have to worry about my problem,she can give me everything that you all cant give,and you all just know how to scold me and said that i'm very stupid and i cant sucsess in my life either"i know the word that i said to them was very hurt~But it's ok,because everytime after that you will come to me and give me a warm hug~it's help me alot when you do like that~I know sometimes i'm very useless,because i need you when everytime i get hurt~i never think bout you,i dun even ask what your problem before~i just think bout me,izit i'm to shelfish,or i'm to childish~

But when we procees to Diploma together i can see u started to change~From the kind of music you heard and all those thing you do~But i dun care to much because i believe that i still have to time to change~Things change when someone appear~We talk less and quarell more~i started become lonely~i dun even dare to share my problem with you,bcos i worried that you will have more stress~I tried to become more stronger because i worried that you will think that i'm useless,i used to solve my problem by myself,because i dun wan to add any problem for you~And i scared that i cant give you enough protection as your men~But when i started to change,i realise that it's to late~That night still the same we quarell bout him again~Then i asked for a break up for us bcos i'm to angry that time~everytime when we quarell we used to said this word,but after that everything will be ok~But that night,it's different,you strongly want to break up this time,i was scared~because i do something that's very wrong~Then i tried to solve this mess up~but i didn't get any chance from you~That day was a day that very sad for me~i lost everything in a night~i think when i lost everything,i still gt a warm hug from you where i used to get~but that night,all change~Day after day you started to change,you become someone that ver strange for me~until now i still dont know y u leave me~You change my life alot with you colourfull life~You bring me to many places that i never been for~i miss every moment that i spend with you~Jessica Dun change to fast,coz i scared that i cant follow your hearth beat~i still have more things that i wan to know bout you~Pls dun change to fast...Pls~~I always wait for you with the name of love~













Monday, June 7, 2010

Waiting For Streamyx

Story Start when i got streamyx at house~Stay Tuned~